I was just about finished with sight seeing in Kuala Lumpur and was leaving the next day to Taman Nagara. I had a few hours left and decided to venture over to “Times Square” to check out the South Asia’s second largest indoor amusement park.
![Walking to Times Square](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2388.jpg)
Walking to Times Square
![The 666 ft. mall from afar. Evil... I think not.](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2389.jpg)
The 666 ft. mall from afar.
I had been to the West Edmonton Mall before so I had some semblance as to what to expect. As I made it the 5th floor of the mall, I was caught off guard. First thing I noticed is that there was a whole bunch of crazy crap everywhere. It was like the mall planners dropped a whole bunch of acid decided to design a theme park while peaking.
![Is that a hand gripping a toilet paper holder?](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2505.jpg)
Is that a hand gripping a toilet paper holder?
![Hey, lets wrap this donut in DNA strands.](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2510.jpg)
Don’t forget to wrap the donut in DNA molecules.
![Also the Ice Cream.](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2508.jpg)
You know what — lets just wrap everything in DNA molecules!
Next thing I noticed is the park was completely empty! I talked a staff member and he said “Berjaya Theme Park gets very quiet during Ramadan”. And by quiet, it looked as if I might have been the only one in the park.
![A little too raph.](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2446.jpg)
A little too raph.
I hadn’t expected to buy a ticket when arriving, but this was too good of an opportunity to pass up! Berjaya Theme Park quickly became was my personal playground; thus I claimed this new world as “BalabanLand” – and I shall be king!!
I childishly skipped around the park and checked all the rides. No lines, nadda. First order of action: conquer Dizzy Izzy as or Wikipedia describes it: “a Schwarzkopf Monster II-type Octopus ride”. Sounds fun and slightly German!
![Look how beautiful it lights up.](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2503.jpg)
Look how beautiful it lights up.
![I'm riding it!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2397.jpg)
I’m riding it! So much fun!
Weee!! After about a 6-minute ride, twice the standard length, I was sufficiently dizzy. I thought to myself: “Enough with the foreplay, lets get to this rollercoaster”. I ran up the escalator to reach the 7th floor of the building. There lay “Super Sonic Odyssey” on a 2,624.7 ft. track. It has a heartline roll, a loop and a corkscrew! I ran through the queue, and saw the 6-car coaster just waiting for me to board. To the front of the cart!!!
![How all queues look in Balabanland](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2489.jpg)
How all queues look in Balabanland
![My own personal rollercoaster! Yay!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2436.jpg)
I’ve always wanted my own roller coaster!
Then I rode it!
Awesome! So much fun!!! Yay! So I just stayed on and rode it again….
And again…..
And once again….
Then some guy from Pakistan joined me, I think his name was Abdul. Together we dominated that rollercoaster!
![](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2414.jpg)
Action shot of new best friend “Abdul” and myself!
After riding the Super Sonic 5 times, I trotted over on to ‘kids land’ – now renamed as ‘Balaban less-adrenaline land’ where I found myself boarding the fantasy trail train. My personal conductor started the locomotive and we went around “Balabanland” verrry slowly.
![I'm at the front of the train with the conductor!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2427.jpg)
I’m at the front of the train with the conductor!
![Into the tunnel we go!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2428.jpg)
Into the tunnel we go! Choo Choo!
![Oh my god, a spider! so scary!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2429.jpg)
Oh my god, a spider! so scary!
![I'm so scared!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2430.jpg)
I’m so scared!
So much fun! What else could I do? Oh look, there’s the merry-go-round! Yay! It goes around in circles over and over!! Woo! Around and around I go!
![I shall ride you young grasshopper.](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2416.jpg)
I shall ride you young grasshopper.
Hey look!! Bumper Cars! Awesome!!! Oh no… I’m the only one here!
![No line! Yay!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2464.jpg)
No line! Yay!
No worries… I’ll just bash the shit out of all the other cars on the track! Take that you inanimate objects!!! Boom Boom Boom!!! Weeeeee!!
![Grrrr!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2467.jpg)
Grrrr!
![I am king of the track!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2479.jpg)
Boom!!!
![Hail to the king of bumper cars!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2486.jpg)
Hail to the king of bumper cars!
Nothing could stop this run! Where to next!?! Woah, it’s Ooort’s Express! Another ride that goes around and around!! Lets ride it!!
![Woaaaaah! I'm moving so fast!!!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2450.jpg)
Woaaaaah! I’m moving so fast!!!
Oh snap! Look at that! It’s Space Attack: Pew Pew Pew! It’s a large pendulum-style ride that inverts! Oh yay! Lets go on it!
![so big!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2504.jpg)
so big!
![I can sit anywhere!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2456.jpg)
I can sit anywhere!
![So much G-force!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2460.jpg)
So much G-force!
Uohahh, so much upsidedown! I think I’m getting tired… wait… is that a mechanical bull!? Okay, I’ll ride the bull! Why the hell not!?! Go get-em cowboy.
![Yee haw!](http://marcbalaban.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_2496.jpg)
Yee-haw!!!
After 2 hours of intense theme park action, I called it quits. I must admit that “Balabanland” was the greatest theme park experiences I’ve had. No queues, no waiting, just straight-up entertainment at my disposal.
Recommendation: If you’re ever in Kuala Lumpur during Ramadan, head to Berjaya Times Square Theme Park to become king of a land for a short couple of hours. 100% worth it.
This story is terrific!